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If you have a vulva, start by lightly pressing on the hood of the clit with the vibrator, and then circling it and rolling the shaft back and forth while upping the toy’s pressure and intensity. As you reach your highest levels of arousal and hardness, the clit can become supersensitive, so you may want to lessen the pressure, Nan Wise, PhD, a neuroscientist, professor, and certified sex therapist, tells Glamour. She recommends pairing your toy with lube, which can make your experience more comfortable overall. Sex toys are most commonly sold at sex shops or online, but they may also be sold in a pharmacy or chemist store, a pornographic store, a head shop, or a department store.
If your partner is not open to the conversation or idea, don’t force toys on them with insistence or ultimatums. One of the biggest mistakes people make when trying to introduce toys to their partners, these experts said, is attempting to just whip them out during sex. Unless you know your partner is comfortable with you and appreciates surprises during sex, Boyajian says, this "can leave them feeling anxious and pressured," potentially dredging up insecurities or creating conflict.
If you want to avoid pregnancy, talk to your partner about birth control options and before sharing the toy. If you can get pregnant and you share a sex toy with a person with a penis, pregnancy is technically possible if any pre-cum or ejaculation is present on the toy when you use it. If you use a sex toy in your butt and then use it in your own vagina (or around your penile opening), this can also result in one of these infections. For instance, if a partner with a herpes outbreak used a sex toy, and then a few minutes later you used the same sex toy, there’s a chance that the virus would be transmitted to you. To get an STI from a sex toy, it has to have been used by a person who had an STI and then not properly cleaned before you used it.
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