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Marketing that frames toys as stand-ins for absent partners, or solutions to sexual problems, doesn't help, adds Amy Boyajian of toy maker and retailer Wild Flower. It leads people — especially straight cis men who rarely engage with toys — to view interest in toys as an attack on their sexual performance, or as sexual competition. The hesitation often stems, at least in part, from persistent beliefs that toys are for solo play, while sex is about two people meeting each other’s every want and need with their bodies alone, explains Fosnight. In 1998, the cast of Sex and the City went vibrator shopping.
His work has appeared in numerous publications, including Mashable, Aeon, Men’s Health, and VICE. No matter when or how you start the conversation, try not to connect your interest in toys to an explicit critique of or frustration with the sex you’re currently having. That will play right into potential underlying insecurities your partner may hold.
"It’s amazing how quickly the consumers are saying yes" to PlusOne, Leventhal says, noting that in just a few weeks, the brand’s sales have approached what many of their competitors might sell in a year. It’s taken decades to get to the point where a vibrator at Walmart is met with excitement rather than outrage. But now that we’ve gotten there, big-box stores are excited to cash in.
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